Today, was a victorious day. I killed two birds with one stone so to speak. (I've always wanted to say that...."so to speak"....as if I was saying something of true consequence and wanted it to sound hoity toity to get your attention.) I mowed the lawn. I have always wanted to mow the lawn. Don't ask me why. I do not know. It was as though it was calling to me....."Mow me.....Moooow Meeee.....MMMOOOOOWWWW MMMEEEE!"
It was a victory I had to overcome. So, after much sniggling (is that a word?) I talked my hubby into showing me that 'man code'. You know the one that tells you how to make out like starting the mower was only something a man could do and if you grunted just the right way and leaned just this other certain way, the mower would magically start with a loud VAAARROOOOM!! Snert! Snert! (Snert! Yep! That's what my mower sounds like. ) So, I got on my conquering the grass garb on and made for the lawn.
I was ready in my capri jeans, tee shirt, hubbies sneakers, (Oh please, you didn't think I would wear my own, did you? They are for when I want to pretend I just got done with a work out and want to look sportsy.:) ) Anyways, so with my pigtail tied tightly and my hubbies tube socks pushed neatly down; I forged ahead!(Do those 80's tube socks ever fade into fashion oblivion?)
I started the mower and away I grunted....I mean pushed. I went up steep mountain sides; I cut through forests of cabbage grass. I swerved through clotheslines, around picnic tables, and yes, my dear friends, I even beat the tent in the yard. As I was having my mowing fun, it turned into a cricket massacre. Those annoying critters wouldn't move so I mowed them down. I started aiming. One, Two, Three, Nine...One in the cabbage grass, one under the tent...oooh look there's five.....Mow!!! Mow!!!! Mow!!!...Yes, they were out to run. I was out to mow them babies down....wahhaaamooowaahaaahaa!! ......Ahem!!....(clears my throat...decorum....must at all times remember decorum.....)
**Straightens my pigtail*** I can hardly wait to mow the lawn again....yes...Mow!!! Mow!!!Mow!!! Run little crickets!!!!
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1 comment:
That was too funny girl! I got some pesky crickets you can come mow down anytime!!! LOL
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